


Awkward

by orphan_account



Category: Wander Over Yonder
Genre: F/M, Porn With Plot, Sexual Content, dom is thirsty and hater doesn't know what sex is, don't worry its not too explicit, thats the entire plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-05-26 14:40:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6243610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Knowing how smitten he is with her, Lord Dominator invites Lord Hater over for a night of you-know-what. However, she comes across quite a few...roadblocks. (Takes place before My Fair Hatey)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ;)

Lord Dominator groaned and slumped down in her throne. She was feeling pretty grumpy. Sure, it had been a productive day---plenty of planets destroyed, lives taken, hopes crushed...but she just wasn't feeling _satisfied_. And this dissatisfaction wasn't something villainy could cure. Of course, she didn't need a romantic partner in her life. Far from it, actually. She loved working alone, with plenty of alone time and nobody to bother or contradict her. Her robot army obeyed her every word flawlessly and emotionlessly, without question. But that meant that she had no one to please her when she wanted. She had tried using some of her robots for this purpose, but it just felt wrong. They were so unresponsive, unfulfilling. She had all those villains that she captured, but, understandably, they didn't want to sleep with the one who imprisoned them and destroyed their empires. Not like Dominator cared about whether they wanted to or not. In fact, watching them squirm and scream obscenities could be rather enjoyable. But, admittedly, having her partner consent was a much more enjoyable prospect.

Only problem was, nobody in the galaxy would dare have sex with her. And it wasn't like she was being picky. In fact, her tastes were pretty open. Men, women, genderless creatures, she didn't really care. But everyone throughout the entire galaxy feared and hated her. Meaning that she had no chance of finding someone.

Wait a second...maybe there was _one_ person. That...that one skeleton guy. What was his name again? Lord Grater or something? Well, forget his name. Didn't he have a crush on her, or some dumb shit like that? Yeah, he kept trying to impress her with his weird car and awful singing. What an idiot. But hey...maybe he'd do. He certainly wouldn't be her first choice of people to sleep with, but at least he'd probably be willing. Seducing him would be no problem. After all, he was a incompetent loser. How hard could it be?

* * *

"PEEPEEEERS!"

Hater's loud yell rang throughout the entire skull-ship, making every Watchdog jump. From inside the brainstorming room, Commander Peepers stood up from his chair, sighing. Looked like it was going to be one of _those_ days. He'd been working nonstop to find a way to defeat Lord Dominator, but Hater's romantic antics (romantics?) were a constant distraction, as well as his unhealthy obsession with that banjo-playing fool. 

Peepers walked into Lord Hater's bedroom, expecting to be bombarded with a long speech about how awful he was or how much he sucked at his job. But instead, Hater was...grinning?

"PEEEEEPERS! PeeperspeeperspeeperspeepersPEEPERS!" he yelled, bouncing up and down on his bed like a small child. His laptop was in his lap, casting light on his face, and he looked much happier than he had in a long time. Frighteningly so.

"What...what is it, sir?" Peepers was so taken aback that it took him a few seconds to formulate a question.

"LooklooklookLOOK!" Hater exclaimed, shoving his laptop in Peepers's face. Hater's e-mail was open, showing a message he'd received.

_heyy!_

_so i've gotten to see you in the flesh (more like the bones :P) several times now. and honestly? i think you're REALLY cool, awesome, great, and handsome. in fact, i think i've fallen for you...... ;)_

_how about you meet me on my ship tonight, and you and i can get to know each other better? i've got room in my ship for you to sleep over. i bet the two of us will have a great time... ;)_

_see you there! <3_

_-lord dominator_

Peepers rolled his eye. It must've just been some prank e-mail that a hooligan sent. Hell, it was probably Wander and Sylvia with some sort of scheme.

Wait a second...was that from LORD DOMINATOR?!

"W-What the grop is going on here?!" Peepers cried out, reading through the e-mail once more. His eye had to be deceiving him.

Hater smirked and pulled his laptop away. "I'll tell you what's going on! She thinks I'm hot and totally wants to date me!" He poked his finger in Peepers's eye. "Hah! And you thought she wasn't interested in me! Well, guess what? I was right and you were W-R-O-N-G!"

Peepers took a step back, scowling. "This CAN'T be right! She has to be plotting something else. She's probably planning on capturing you, or---"

"Sounds like someone's being a sore loser," Hater interrupted. "Or maybe you're just jealous that I have a girlfriend and you don't?"

"Envious. Not jealous," Peepers corrected on instinct.

"So you are jealous!"

"That's not what I---AUUGH!" Peepers groaned. He was getting so fed up with this... "Look, sir. What are you going to do if she attacks you as soon as you arrive on her ship, and forces you to surrender to her?"

"Uh, that's not gonna happen," Hater replied, staring at Peepers like he had just said something ridiculous. "Because we're madly in love with each other."

"Well, can I at least send a squadron of Watchdogs to protect you? Just in case?" Peepers said, looking up at Hater with a pleading eye. No matter how irritating and unreasonable Hater could be, Peepers would always care about him. 

"Ew, no! That would ruin the mood!"

Peepers face-palmed. Of course Hater would be difficult like this. He shouldn't have expected any different. "Alright. No Watchdogs," he said, taking a deep breath. "But as a compromise..."

"I hate compromises," Hater grumbled.

"AHEM," Peepers glared at Hater, and he shut his mouth. "As I was saying. As a compromise, I'm going to attach a hidden camera to your cloak, so I can see what's going on. This could be our chance to plot out what the inside of her ship looks like!"

"NO WAY!" Hater shouted. "Like I'm gonna let you watch us on our date! We need PRIVACY!"

"It's either that, or I personally come with you," Peepers sternly replied. There was a look in his eyes that said "There's no arguing about this."

"Uuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhh."

* * *

 

Several hours later, Peepers was piloting the skull-ship and warily dropping Hater off at Dominator's massive ship. He had a screen right next to him set up to display the video coming from the hidden camera. Peepers had taken out Hater's laptop and was reading over the e-mail once again, trying to find any hidden meaning in it. He had packed Hater a duffel bag full of everything he'd need for his "sleepover": Pajamas, toothbrush, sleeping bag, and plenty of blasters. Yes, he was absolutely prepared. 

Except for one thing. And Peepers gasped when he realized what he had forgotten.

_He had never told Hater about the birds and the bees._

 


	2. yowch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for second-hand embarrassment.

Hater's heart was beating like a snare drum inside his ribcage. He couldn't believe it...he was actually on Lord Dominator's ship! Without even having to sneak in! He was so nervous, he felt like he was going to faint. He was sweating up a storm, and his mouth was dry. But maybe that was just because the ship was so hot. No wonder, with it being powered by magma and all. How did Lord Dominator live in a place like this? She had to have some form of heat resistance.

He walked through the foyer of the ship (if you could even call it that), trying his best to make his footsteps quiet. Normally, he'd enter with grandeur and pounding footsteps, but the prospect of actually spending a night with his crush practically squashed his ego. He didn't realize it, but whenever he thought about Dominator, he felt less...evil. Conquering the galaxy and vanquishing his foes with her by his side sounded amazing, but he could settle for just being with her and living a normal life, or something. Not that he'd ever admit that to himself, though. Giving up evil for true love---that was the kind of sappy B.S. that Wander would spew!

The ship seemed awfully quiet compared to his own. There were no Watchdogs bustling around and chatting. The only other presence was Dominator's robots, which flanked him at both sides, their red eyes piercing into him. He wondered how she could cope with no other sentient people around her. She must've been very lonely. And that's why he was there...to love her and make sure she'd never be alone ever again! And hey...there were some upsides to having an army made completely out of bots. Robots didn't have emotions, so if they saw a loving couple passionately smooching, they'd be indifferent. So Hater and Dominator could have some privacy.

Except for _PEEPERS'S STUPID CAMERA!!!_

Hater wasn't even sure where the camera was. Peepers had slapped it onto his cloak when he wasn't paying attention. The idea of Peepers watching them made him feel sick. Maybe he could find a way to turn the camera off later. 

His horns stood on end when he heard another pair of footsteps besides his own. There she was, in all her glory, walking down the steps to meet him. She was without her armor, barefoot, only wearing her signature black shirt with spiked shoulder pads and slit black skirt. (He actually thought she was hotter with the armor on, but that didn't really matter.)

She didn't speak, instead taking the time to look him up and down, a sly smile playing across her lips. He didn't speak either. He was stunned by her beauty, mouth agape. After a couple seconds of this, the silence was broken by Hater's jaw coming loose and clattering onto the ground. 

Flustered, he mentally cursed himself and dropped to his knees, scrabbling for his jaw before it could get burned by the molten floor. By the time he picked it up, she was kneeling down right next to him.

"Here, let me get that for you," she said, popping it back in with a flirtatious look in her eyes. Hater felt like he was going to faint. 

As soon as she let go, his jaw fell to the floor again.

 _Gross,_ Dominator thought.

As soon as his jaw was re-attached, Hater began to splutter in an attempt at talking. "I-I. Uh. Um, uh...Hi."

"Hey," she immediately replied, smiling at him. Wow. He was even more awful than she thought. She was planning on putting him behind bars as soon as she was done with him, but maybe she'd just kill him instead. Just looking at him was making her want to face-palm. Thank grop she was such a good actress. 

"S-So, uh...I got your e-mail."

"Of course you did. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here," she said, continuing to smile. It was like talking to a child. 

There was a long, awkward pause. After a minute, Hater perked up. "Oh, right! I uh...I got these for you." He reached into his cloak and pulled out a bouquet of fragrant, pink roses. He held them out to her. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I mean---happy...er, getting to date me?"

Happy getting to date me? Dominator could barely keep herself from rolling her eyes as she took the flowers from him. Ew...she didn't even like pink. Anyone who glanced at her for a split second could tell that. Lord Hater was such a joke.

Well, whatever. It wasn't like she was actually going to be in a relationship with him. She just wanted him for one thing, and after that she could get rid of him, like a disposable camera. He probably wouldn't even resist. And then she could destroy the entire galaxy, with no one to defy her! Ah, today was going to be a great day. 

After thanking him for the flowers, she leaned over and stroked his face, enjoying the feeling of him shuddering beneath her touch. "How about you and I go have some fun?" she said seductively.

"Y-You mean...we're gonna smooch?" he breathed. He wondered which one of her smooching rooms they were going to use.

"Oh, much more than just that," she giggled, turning and walking towards her bedroom, beckoning for him to follow.

"Wait, there's MORE?!"

* * *

"I can't believe this..." Peepers groaned, his head in his hand. "I just sent him out all alone, and he doesn't even know what sex is! I'm the worst right-hand man ever!"

"Wouldn't he have figured it out on his own by now?" a Watchdog asked from behind him. Somehow, word had gotten around on the ship that Lord Hater was going on a saucy date with Lord Dominator. All the Watchdogs had crowded into the control room of the skull-ship to watch the affair on Peepers's screen. 

Peepers furiously shook his head. "No! I've made sure to block any explicit content on his computer and his phone. And it's not like there's anyone besides me for him to talk to about that kind of thing..."

"Hey, don't worry, Commander. Maybe it won't be so bad."

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I mean---happy...er, getting to date me?" Hater's voice resonated through the room from the screen.

Peepers went into the fetal position and started crying.

"Golly! Why's everyone crowded in this one room? Is there something going on? And where's Lord Hater?" Of course Wander and Sylvia were there. Peepers wasn't even surprised at this point. He just wanted this to end.

"Lord Dominator's gonna try to bang Lord Hater!" A Watchdog shouted.

"Oh, this is gonna be fun," Sylvia grinned. "Who wants popcorn?"

 


	3. the plot thickens

Lord Dominator's bedroom wasn't quite what Hater expected. Actually, it was nothing like what he expected. He was expecting pink walls, fluffy rugs, make-up kits, stuffed animals...in actuality, her room looked kind of just looked like a normal bedroom. In fact, it kind of looked like his bedroom. Large, comfy-looking bed, huge TV on the wall, closet full of clothes and armor (but mostly armor). Well, maybe she just had some secret room where she kept all of her girly stuff. After all, all girls liked pink and fluffy rainbows, right?

"So, what do you think?" Dominator asked.

"Uh..." Hater couldn't think of anything to say. "It's, uh...not as cool as mine!"

"Oh, really?" Dominator smirked. Somehow she knew that he'd say that. Boys like him were so predictable. "Well, maybe this'll change your mind..." She reached over and took a remote-control from on top of her nightstand. She tapped a few buttons on it, and the lights dimmed. A disco ball emerged from the ceiling, and "Careless Whisper" started playing. 

"Whoa..." Hater breathed. It was like a bedroom and a smooching room, all in one!

"You like?" Dominator said, raising her voice over the sultry saxophone sounds. 

"Me like---I mean. Yes. I like it," he spluttered. You could practically see the hearts in his eyes. His palms were sweaty underneath his gloves, and it felt like the whole room was spinning. The flashing disco lights weren't helping. He felt like he was sinking into a trance, hypnotized by the woman in front of him.

"Uh...you okay there?" Dominator frowned, waving her hand in front of his face. He was starting to drool. Did he slip into a coma or something?

Hater jumped and rubbed his hands in embarrassment. "U-Uh, yeah. It's just..." He trailed off.

"It's just what?" she said, tapping her foot.

"O-Oh, I dunno...it's just, I feel like...we might be going a little too fast?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I mean...we're in your room, with this crazy atmosphere, and we're about to kiss each other, but, it's like...don't you think we're rushing this a bit? Like, shouldn't we go on a nice dinner date, or to a romantic movie or something first?"

Dominator sighed in frustration. She wasn't here to play psychiatrist, and she certainly wasn't serious about dating this jackass. "Look, Hater...you like me, don't you?"

"Yeah! I think you're great! Well, not as great as me, but---"

She interrupted him by pinching his mouth shut. "Yeah, yeah. And you'd do anything for ME, wouldn't you?"

"...Mmhmm," he replied, nodding. 

"Thank you. See, it's been a long day, and right now, all I want is a guy like you to please me. I want it right now, and I'm not interested in all the mushy romance stuff. Do you understand, or do I need to repeat myself so that'll get pounded into your tiny brain?" Whoops, that was a bit too harsh. Thankfully, Hater didn't seem affected.

"I-I get it," he said. He didn't completely understand what she was talking about, but he was a bit too scared to ask. Maybe they could go on a date some other time. 

"Perfect," she purred, running a finger down his chest. But her finger stopped when she noticed something attached to his cloak. It was hardly more than a black dot, barely perceptible. But she had a feeling what it was. "Looks like there's a bug on your cloak. Let me fix that," she grinned, plucking the camera off of him and burning it to a crisp with a snap of her fingers.

"Oh, thanks," Hater said, too wrapped up in her beauty to realize that she had destroyed his chance of rescue. 

She giggled maniacally and took him by the hand, leading him to her bed. Seeing as he wasn't taking initiative, Dominator grabbed him by the shoulders and waist and pushed him down onto the bed. Hater was breathless as he stared up at her. Her smooth skin, her half-lidded eyes, her cute freckles, her mischievous grin...

She kissed him, and he melted.

* * *

 

"Looks like there's a bug on your cloak. Let me fix that."

The camera was ripped from Hater's cloak, and for a brief moment, the view on the screen shifted Lord Dominator's face. She smiled and winked at the camera.

"NonononoNONONONO!" Peepers screamed, fists clenched as he stared at the screen. 

An ear-splitting crunching sound echoed through the room, and the screen cut to black. There was a long silence as everyone in the room took in what just happened. 

"So...what now?" a Watchdog asked. 

Peepers' heart was racing. He took a deep breath to regain his composure, and turned to his army. "Watchdogs! Assemble a rescue squadron of fifty! We're going to need to infiltrate Dominator's ship, and---"

"WAAAIIIIIIT!" somebody shouted. Everybody turned to the source of the voice. Unsurprisingly, it was Wander. He was standing on top of Sylvia's head, towering over the crowd of Watchdogs. "Come ON, Peeps! You can't just barge in on a couple during such an intimate moment! Do you have no heart?!" he shouted dramatically.

"Are you kidding?!" Peepers growled. "She's going to destroy him! Any fool can see that!"

"Balderdash! She's not going to destroy anything! Except for his virginity!"

"Wander, buddy," Sylvia sighed, grabbing him by the waist and plopping him back onto her saddle. "I know you really want those two to get hitched, but it's clearly an abusive relationship. She doesn't care about him at all."

"But maybe they just need some time together! Or a relationship counselor!"

"Not if she KILLS HIM FIRST!" Peepers interjected. The Watchdogs supported him with shouts of "Yeah!"

"Hate to say it, but the eyeball nerd's got a point," said Sylvia. "I dunno whether we could help them 'find true love' or whatever, but if we don't do something soon, half of that couple is going to be dead. Honestly, I don't give a damn about what happens to Hater, but I know you wouldn't want your, uh, friend to get hurt."

"But Sylviaaaaaa...!"

"No buts. Let's just get outta here before they remember that they're supposed to capture us."

Wander sniffled. "Can we at least go with them? Maybe I can find a way to help them form a healthy relationship!"

"Oh, grop no," Peepers exclaimed. "If you two come along, you're going to find a way to ruin everything, like you always do!"

"Come on, Peepers, you know he's not going to budge on this one," Sylvia sighed. Sure enough, Wander had planted his feet in the ground with his arms crossed, a determined expression on his face.

Peepers groaned. Could this day get any worse?


	4. what you've all been waiting for

Dominator's top was off.

Hater wasn't entirely sure when she had found the time to take it off. And his gloves were off, too. For what seemed like eternities, they had been passionately locking lips on top of her bed, bodies pressed against each other, both panting. She had been taking the initiative, wrapping her arms around his hips and pulling him closer. In all honesty, Hater was kind of a terrible kisser. Dominator was always the one who had to start the kiss, and when they were making out, it was wet and sloppy, his tongue flailing around erratically. Anyone could tell that he had no experience with this. But although she hated to admit it, Dominator found it kind of cute how bad he was. She liked the way his bright green eyes stared up at her whenever their lips parted, with a mixture of confusion, passion, surprise, and puppy-love. 

Now, Hater gazed at her topless form, taking in all the details. He had never seen a woman without a shirt on before, and it surprised him. "So THAT'S what it looks like," he mumbled.

"You like what you see?" Dominator asked sultrily. Hater silently nodded in reply. Dominator grinned and teased down her skirt, displaying herself for him to watch. Soon enough, she was only in her underwear. She leaned over and kissed him once more, trailing soft kisses along his jaw and stopping at the hole where his ear would be, if he had them. "How about we take this a step further?" she whispered, her voice barely above a breath.

Hater looked enthusiastic, but after a few seconds, his face contorted with confusion. "Uh...how? I mean, uh, we're making out and you took your clothes off...what comes next?"

"I want to do what lovers do," she purred, the same mischievous smile on her face.

"I thought that's what we were already doing...?"

Her smile faltered. "What I mean is...I want to make love to you."

"...I don't get it."

Her eyes were starting to narrow. "I want you inside of me!" she said, raising her voice a bit.

"Still don't get it."

Dominator growled, getting fed up. "I. Want. You. To. Fuck. Me. NOW do you get it?!"

"Ohhhhhh, now I see what you mean!" Hater exclaimed, nodding happily. "Okay, yeah. Sorry."

"Great," she replied, relaxing a bit. "Then let's get to it."

"Yeah, sure thing," Hater said. "But, uh, hold on a second. Before we start, I have a teeeeensy-tiny question..."

"What?" Dominator felt a pit of dread being dug into her stomach.

"...Uh, what does 'fuck' mean?"

"...AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRGH!" Dominator howled in frustration, jumping off of the bed and onto her feet. No more Mr. Nice Girl! If she needed to give this idiot a sex ed lesson, then so be it! She wanted to be pleasured, and she wanted it NOW! "Alright, you flarping piece of shit, STAND UP!"

Hater looked bewildered. "U-Uh, okay?" He slowly climbed up to his feet, nervously fidgeting with his horns.

"Now take your cloak off!" she commanded, her mouth fixed in a snarl. Hater blinked and then pulled off his cloak. He threw the garment to the side, leaving him standing only in his boxers.

"Take those off, too," she ordered, pointing a finger at his underwear. He gulped and pulled down his boxers, leaving him completely naked, and blushing.

"Alright, looks like I'm gonna have to give you a lesson about how to have sex," Dominator sighed. "Okay, first you take your---" She pointed down at his groin area, only to realize...that there was nothing there. Only his pelvis bone. "What the...where is it?" she said, squinting.

"Where's what?" Hater asked, completely oblivious.

"You know, your..." She waved her hands around, trying to signal what she meant, but to no avail. "Your...genitalia."

Hater tapped his chin for a second. "Hmm. I don't think I have this Janet Alien that you speak of. But I bet I could make my army find one! I am pretty great, you know."

Dominator's face was one of pure dismay. "Oh, come ON...you have those magical electrical powers of yours, right? Can't you, you know...conjure up something?"

"Conjure up something?" he repeated. "Why the flarp would I be able to do that with my powers?! That seems like a really dumb excuse so that someone portraying a magical skeleton like me could make him do things that he's clearly not capable of, for the sake of this person's questionable fantasies!

"Whatever," Dominator grunted, irritatedly rubbing her eyes. She was so done with this. Turned out that inviting Lord Hater to her ship was an awful idea, after all. Oh well...maybe torturing him would be some form of consolation. "BOTS!" she shouted, turning away from him.

"Wait, what?" Hater jumped at her sudden shouting. But before he could say anything else, a dozen of Dominator's robots burst into the room, casting a red glow across the surroundings. 

"Alright, take this loser away," Dominator flippantly commanded the robots. They didn't even question the fact that Hater and Dominator were practically naked, and there was sexy music playing in the background. Man, she was so glad that she decided to make a robot army instead of just enslaving some species to do her bidding. Robots never questioned you. 

The bots sprung forward and grabbed Hater by the arms and legs. "WAIIIT!" he shouted. "Can I at least put my clothes back on first?!" But the bots ignored him and left the room, dragging him kicking and screaming.

Once they were gone, Dominator sighed and sunk down onto her bed. Well, that was a failure. And to think, she was so close to getting what she wanted! If only Lord Hater wasn't such an idiot. 

Speaking of Hater, his cloak and his boxers were still lying on her floor. Dominator shuddered with disgust. Yeah, she was definitely going to burn those later.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me, for I have sinned  
> You'll have to forgive me more, since this is going to be continuing


End file.
